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JULY 22, 2022

It’s our final evening of a long weekend on the coast. Sunset settling across the waves. A thousand sparks of light slipping over its rhythmic rolls and heaves. A reflection of my 5 year old girl and 12 year old boy chasing their feet in wet sand. Beautiful. Magic. A perfect moment. But I’m tired. SO tired. After 3 days of ocean living, I’m cooked, thirsty, and ready for a little less magic and a lot more air conditioning.
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Friday, July 22nd, 2022
My son and I witnessed something and we can never tell my wife.

It’s our final evening of a long weekend on the coast. Sunset settling across the waves. A thousand sparks of light slipping over its rhythmic rolls and heaves. A reflection of my 5 year old girl and 12 year old boy chasing their feet in wet sand. Beautiful. Magic. A perfect moment.

But I’m tired. SO tired. After 3 days of ocean living, I’m cooked, thirsty, and ready for a little less magic and a lot more air conditioning.

"Alright kids, time to go back and check on mom."

They shuffle back to me, we gather up the towels and toys.

"Daddy, can we get more shells?" she asks.

OK… I’d never deny my girl the opportunity for shells. To her, they’re little mysteries waiting to be unearthed with sticky fingers and plastic shovels. The 800 shells we already collected isn’t nearly enough - obviously.

"Yes! Let’s find more shells - on the way back to the room..."

The boy gives me some side eye. My tactic is obvious, but he’s ready to go too - so it’s fine.

50 yards through the sand, a warm ocean breeze at our backs, "Daddy, I’m not finding any more shells."

This is a make or break moment. We’re not stopping, but I quickly need a distraction, or I need to find a - … hold on, what's that in the sand?

Inches from her left foot, I can’t believe my eyes. It’s a sand dollar. An absolutely perfect sand dollar. Right here. Right now. This is amazing. I’ve seen bigger sand dollars, but never in the wild. And this sand dollar is more than enough for a little girl to have a magnificent ending to her first beach vacation.

"Oh my gosh. Edie! Next to your foot… Do you see it?"

"What? Where?"

"Your foot! Right there. Do you know what a sand dollar is?"

"A sandwaller?"

"A sand dollar. It’s one of the most rare and special shells in the world."


"Yes, that's it."

"Oooohhhh, i see it."

"Pick it up, but very carefully. OK?"


She reaches down. Excited. Cautious. And I’m bursting with gratitude. What are the chances? It’s like the planets have aligned, God has my back, and I won nature’s lottery - all at the same time. I couldn’t imagine a better ending to this trip. A timely triumph and a trophy she’ll cherish forever.

My son and I watch as she bends over, reaches down, her right hand approaching the sand dollar from the side - and her hand… misses. The sand dollar is still there, but now it’s different. Somehow, the sand dollar is cut in half. There’s a line through the middle of it, about the width of her finger.

I’m confused. My boy’s confused. Do sand dollars do that?

And realization hits me like a truck… that’s not a sand dollar… I just told my daughter to pick up seagull shit.

She lifts a tiny fingertip of white goop and asks me "Is this sand dollar?"

Immediately, my son and I are struck with telepathy. Wide eyed, we turn to each other, no words are spoken, but we both share the exact same thought.

"Don’t tell mom..."

Again she asks, "Did I get sand dollars?"

… "NOPE. Hold your brother's hand and let’s go. It’s time for candy and a dinosaur show!"

~ The Magnificent Bastard

Let's Face it - You're A Bastard.
I Know It, You Know It.

But are you a Magnificent Bastard?

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Just watch this video (all the way):

Then request Whiskey Tribe FB group access here:

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Ian Piggott is our whiskey article curator - he gives us a glimpse of what’s happening with whiskey (and our whiskey brethren and sistren) around the world.

[+] Meet the Distiller Dedicated to Reviving Heirloom Grains
Minnesota farmer and distiller Mike Swanson trialed 15 different varieties of rye in an effort to create the perfect bottle of whiskey.


[+] Raising a toast to the monks behind the ‘spiritual home of whisky’
Whisky chiefs from the "spiritual home of Scotch" have paid tribute to the monks who first introduced the national drink in a Scottish abbey over 500 years ago.


[+] Don’t worry, there is such a thing as ‘safe drinking’ – even if you’re young
The latest study on the effects of alcohol on the young is far too simplistic.


Where We're Going
+ How We'll Get There

There's a Magnificent Future being prepared for your Whiskey Tribe. We're aiming for piles of glory, meetups, quests, and a... sshh...


You can learn more about it here:

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Tribe Newsletter Archive

July 15, 2022: I'm Headed to the Coast

July 8, 2022: A Mind Can Wander During Dry Week

July 1, 2022: Careful What You Wish For...

June 24, 2022: Downtown Austin Is 17 Miles From Us as the Crow Flies

June 17, 2022: Ours Is a Commnit Based on Some Pretty Simple Ideas

June 10, 2022: So The Tribe Has Always Been About Creating a More Magnificent Culture Around Whisk(e)y

June 3, 2022: It's Way Too Premature to Discuss This, But...

May 27, 2022: A Weird Note For You

May 20, 2022: I Spent the Last Few Minutes Dying From Laughter

May 13, 2022: The Fifth Annual Texas Whiskey Festival is Happening Now

May 6, 2022: Hey... Can We Get Something Out of the Way?

April 29, 2022: Last Week, Rex Was Filling Up At a Gas Station a Mile Down the Road

April 22, 2022: My Brain Goes a Bit Crosseyed When I Think of Evertything We're Pushing Forward This Year

April 15, 2022: I Usually Arrive at the Distillery Before Everyone Else—Except Beater

April 8, 2022: I Gotta Figure Out How to Add Photos to the Top of This Newsletter

April 1, 2022: My Dad Just Had a Birthday

March 25, 2022: I Went a Little Extreme With Our Quarterly Challenge This Time

March 18, 2022: Just Rolled By the Tasting Room and Found a Big Pile of Lumber

March 11, 2022: Yo. Let's Hang Out Soon

March 4, 2022: Let's Get This Out of The Way

February 25, 2022: Crowded Barrel Products Now Shipping to 41 States

February 18, 2022: I've Got Several Bits for You, But I'll Start With the Biggest

February 11, 2022: Joe Accidentally Discovered a Mysterious Hole on the Property

February 4, 2022: Ice Happens in Texas Sometimes

January 28, 2022: Heads Up, You Magnificent Bastard

January 21, 2022: When I was Born, My Dad Hung Gutters

January 14, 2022: The Crew is Bottling 5-Year-Old Eleanor Bourbon Right Now

January 7, 2022: I Caught That Movie with M'lady Last Week and it Was Dolphin Smooth Sailing from There

December 31, 2021: You're Gonna Take One for the Team Right Now

December 24, 2021: Hey. Thank You. Really. I Mean It

December 17, 2021: You Run Like a Ninny

December 10, 2021: New Neighbors Moved In

December 3, 2021: I Picked Up an Old Friend From the Airport This Week

November 26, 2021: You Know the Guy Who Constantly Drones On About How Coll Something Is...

November 19, 2021: Hands was Floating Around the Distillery With a Camera

November 12, 2021: When You Learn Something, That Thing Owns Part of You Forever

November 5, 2021: 4pm Today Has Been Heading Your Way at a Steady Pace

October 29, 2021: Bittersweet is the Best Way to Describe It

October 22, 2021: The Bastard's Ball Was Magnificent, A Thing of Beauty

October 15, 2021: Rocks Tumble Down Mountain Rivers Over Millions of Years

October 8, 2021: Hung in Haste From a Goddamn Lightning Rod, No One Thought it Would Last

October 1, 2021: I Saw a Guy on the Deck of Fang & Feather Recently

September 24, 2021: The Distillery is Quiet, Calm, Also Waiting

September 17, 2021: We Finally Broke Summer's Back

September 10, 2021: Things Have Reached a Boiling Point

September 3, 2021: Here's the Latest News About Fang & Feather and Shed Building

August 27, 2021: Imagine What the Distillery Staff Meeting was Like on Tuesday

August 20, 2021: Got Two Pieces of News for You Bastards This Week

August 13, 2021: OK You Bastards, The New Still is Working

August 6, 2021: Hey You Bastards, Whiskey Classes Have Returned

July 30, 2021: Hey You Bastards, Thought I'd Give You a Peek Into Some Behind the Scenes

July 23, 2021: Hey You Bastards, a Couple of Things This Week

July 16, 2021: Big News This Week on Campus

July 9, 2021: I'm Getting That Feeling. You Know the One I'm Talking About

July 2, 2021: I Exited the Rear of the Distillery a Few Days Ago

June 25, 2021: Daniel Walked in on Wednesday and Sat a Bottle on the Table

June 18, 2021: It's Been a Slow Week Here at the Distillery

June 11, 2021: Hey You Bastards. I Ran Into John at the Barrel House

June 4, 2021: Hey You Magnificent Bastards. I'm Feeling a Little Philosophical

May 28, 2021: Man, I Really Pulled Off a SWEET Little Moochy Deal Yesterday

May 21, 2021: Big Day at the Crowded Barrel, You Magnificent Bastards, and Here's the Inside Scoop 

May 14, 2021: Turns Out It's 200 Steps From Where I'm Living to the Crowded Barrel Distillery

May 7, 2021: Alright, I'm Going to Tell You Something...

April 30, 2021: Don't You Hate it When Someone's Vague and Unhelpful

April 23, 2021: I'll Just Get Out The Way and Say It

April 16, 2021: Have You Ever Revved Up an Engine in 1st Gear?

April 9, 2021: This is a Little Embarrassing, But Mostly Exciting

April 2, 2021: Sometimes It's Nice to be Recognized, Ya Know

March 26, 2021: It Was an Evening Worth Remembering at Crowded Barrel

March 19, 2021: I Thought He Was Just a Random Truck Driver

March 12, 2021: On the Southern Edge of Austin, TX, There is a Room

March 5, 2021: We Usually Don't Put a Spotlight on Magnificent Bastards in the Tribe, But...

February 26, 2021: Back in the Saddle

February 19, 2021: Everything is Frozen—Except the Whiskey

February 12, 2021: When I Began Working at This Joint, I Was a Complete Novice in the World of Whiskey

February 5, 2021: Jurassic Park Was Prophetic

January 29, 2021: It's Whiskey Weather in Texas

January 22, 2021: Heads Up! We're About to do a Bottle Shipping Experiment!

January 15, 2021: Let's Get This Out of the Way

January 8, 2021: I Was Late for Work Today

January 1, 2021: Just Sitting Here, Wondering What to Write About, Like I Do

December 25, 2020: Two Things: One Big, the Other Small, But it Feels Big

December 18, 2020: A Marine, an Author, and a Franciscan Friar Were Sitting at a Bar

December 11, 2020: I'm Wearing a Dead Man's Belt

December 4, 2020: The MBs in Patreon Named an Upcoming Release

November 27, 2020: (Not) Home for the Holidays

November 20, 2020: Rex Just Turned 40

November 13, 2020: I Had Turkey and Whiskey for Lunch

November 6, 2020: We Just Figured Out a Way to Hack the Whisk(e)y Matrix

October 30, 2020: Okay. Whiskey. What's New in Whiskey?

October 23, 2020: Whiskey Was Poured, Glasses Were Raised, Good Times Were Had

October 16, 2020: The Whiskey Tribe's Distillery Is Open!

October 9, 2020: A Dose of Whisk(e)y and Ridiculum

October 2, 2020: So It Begins

September 25, 2020: Life Is Messy

September 18, 2020: Getting Accidentally Fancy

September 11, 2020: Big Changes Seem to Be in Season

September 4, 2020: Crowded Barrel Has Been Making Bigger Strides Than Anticipated

August 28, 2020: 125 Gallons of Whiskey Making Glory

August 21, 2020: Holy Balls! Time Travel is Real

August 14, 2020: The Next Bastard's Ball is Coming

August 7, 2020: Important: Are YOU With Us?

July 31, 2020: Interesting Developments in the Texas Whiskey World

July 24, 2020: Today's The Day

July 17, 2020: The Bourbon Brigade

July 10, 2020: Special Patreon Livestream TODAY!

July 3, 2020: We're About to Pop the Bunghole

June 26, 2020: Sometimes I Get Stuck

June 19, 2020: It's Time to Make it Official

June 12, 2020: The "Pweeble" Have Spoken

June 5, 2020: It's About Damn Time

May 28, 2020: It Started Innocently Enough

May 22, 2020: So This is Tricky

May 15, 2020: Blending Some Upcoming Releases at Ironroot

May 8, 2020: This Weekend's Episode Will Be an Interesting Experiment

May 1, 2020: It's Been a Little Weird Writing This Tribe Newsletter 

April 24, 2020: Heads Up, MB

April 17, 2020: I've Got Three Things for You

April 10, 2020: I Was Asked to Write a Description of the Distillery

April 3, 2020: Rex and Daniel Recorded a Video Podcast

March 27, 2020: Three Things

March 20, 2020: Here's the Deal (I'll Try to Not Make a Habit of Referencing "The Situation")

March 13, 2020: Went to the Texas Whiskey Festival Last Week

March 6, 2020: Went to My Kid's Viola Recital This Week

February 28, 2020: It'll Either be the World's Best Or Worst Label Design for a Bottled Spirit

February 21, 2020: OMG... We're in a Cult

February 14, 2020: I've Been Developing the New Whiskey Tribe Website with Rex

February 7, 2020: Brace Yourself, MB

January 31, 2020: In Other (Weird) News, Rex & Daniel Were Nominated for This Year's Icons of Whiskey Award

January 24, 2020: Barrels Can Be Tricky

January 17, 2020: My Shoes Have Holes In Them

January 10, 2020: It's a Whisk(e)y Wonderland

January 3, 2020: We're Definitely Getting a New (Bigger) Still